I knew Jose was the one from the moment he shared his dreams with me. I had never met anyone with bigger-than-life dreams before him. Throughout my life, I’ve only met a handful of people with the type of dreams we have for our future. This always played a huge part in my dating life. I wanted to know what the other person was envisioning for themselves.
In previous relationships, I found myself doing the most to prepare for my future. It was only a matter of time before realizing I was dating the wrong people. For whatever reason, I wanted more for them than what they wanted for themselves. I found myself trying to mold them into someone they were not. It was a huge issue and I was stubborn about the whole thing. I thought I knew what I was doing and was certain I had all the answers. Boy, oh boy, was I wrong. Slowly but surely, the truth would reveal itself and these bad relationships came to an end. Whew – so happy they did because I ended up marrying the man of my prayers.
By the time I met Jose, I was set on the qualities and characteristics I desired in my future husband and was NOT settling. Boys were no longer going to sweep me off my feet through their words…I needed action. Walk the walk type stuff, ya know? We started off as friends, and as time went on, we learned more about each other’s interests, values, morals, lifelong dreams, and goals. It was pretty clear he was different. It was not easy to accept this fact though. I was dating my so-called college boyfriend at the time and couldn’t see myself dating a good friend who was living in a different city. (I was in Denton and he was in Houston). Long story short, after graduating college, I moved back home and ended up working in Houston. In the summer of 2014, we officially became a couple and never looked back. His love for me and respect for my values drew me to him. To this day, the fact that he can make me laugh in any situation (even when I am upset), is something to admire. I love that he loves my big
ass sweet family (and I love my in-laws). I love his ability to forgive quickly. His generosity with time is something to look up to. I love his willingness to learn and to spread that knowledge with his circle. I love that he loves me as I am. For years, I’ve asked for his feedback on the areas I need to improve on but he believes I am perfect as I am. (God bless his soul – I know I have a lot to work on.) I love him so much it brings me to tears sometimes.
If you are single, I hope the following resonates with you.
Learn to listen to your intuition. Do you recognize that little voice inside your head? Yep, that one. It’s there for a reason. If we only had the courage to listen to it in every situation. (I know this is something I am constantly trying to improve.) If only I would’ve listened to my intuition from the very beginning, I would have saved so much time. The red flags are always there, and if you cannot see them, I can guarantee someone close to you can. I know it’s easy to think we have it all figured out but it takes vulnerability and courage to face the truth. And the truth is worth it. It may be hard but rely on the fact it’s meant to save you from future pain and disappointment. I suggest to make a list of your non-negotiables and do not settle. You better than anyone else knows the standards you have for your future husband (or wife). And if you don’t, figure it out. I’ll give you an example of a non-negotiable I had on my list – church. It was important for my future husband to understand that I took my faith and spiritual life very seriously. When you meet someone who is aligned with your values, morals, beliefs, and dreams, and loves you unconditionally, this is when you’ve probably met a potential partner for life. Marrying a best friend makes life happy. Again, read the following words closely, marrying your best friend makes life happy. Even if Jose and I are swimming in a pool of mess, we are happy doing it together. We are not perfect by any means, we fight over dumb stuff but we also forgive each other and move on.
If you have yet to read Girl, Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis, I highly encourage you to read it. I agreed with every single word she had to say about relationships. It is perfect for the person who is still single. Here is another blog post with takeaways from her book. Last but not least, embrace the season you are in. Take comfort in knowing you are not alone…I can guarantee that someone else has faced (or is facing) a similar situation. It is okay to be vulnerable, open, and honest, whether it’s with yourself or a close friend. Do not neglect your self-worth. Respect yourself. And finally, love yourself first.