You can bet this past year was one for the books. I had no idea what to expect during my first year as a married woman. We had many ups and downs – more ups than downs, thank GOD. Where shall I begin? I guess a brief list of the highs sounds right, huh? We moved to the city, paid off our wedding, got new jobs, traveled to new places, explored the city, and enjoyed other things as a married couple! Along with the highs, we embraced the lows, such as: loss of a job, car accidents/incidents, health issues, and managing a budget.
Just like the single life has many seasons, marriage does too. We’ve experienced a season of pure bliss, followed by a season of uncertainty. I’m not referring to uncertainty of each other, I’m referring to uncertainty of the unknown. For example, worrying about the “what if’s” or things that hadn’t occurred yet. But I’m not here to talk about what I don’t know…let’s move on to the things I’ve learned so far! One of the things that helped our relationship start off on the right foot was having tough conversations while we were still dating. We attended a couples retreat over a weekend and were forced to discuss certain subjects we had (mostly) already discussed on our own time. Having a discussion about each other’s expectations may seem obvious to some people but perhaps not to all. I highly recommend reading “The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts” by Gary Chapman. Married or not. I read it when I was single, and the second time, with Jose. It was a great book that shed light on relationships and helped me determine Jose’s love language. Ever since reading it, I do my best to always “speak” it. I’ve also learned that I used to eat too much cheese; it’s crazy a phenomenon, what you think is normal may not be considered normal to another person, LOL! But on a serious note, I’ve learned things about myself that I paid no attention to before. I won’t get into the details (maybe on a different post) but I will say that I’ve become a better version of myself, thanks to him! On that note, I’ve compiled a list of the things I’d say next time someone asks for my opinion on what has worked for our marriage:
- Learn to compromise from the very beginning, there is no way around it.
- Share your thoughts, feelings, emotions, etc. – do not wait until it all piles up and explode at the wrong time.
- Develop habits together to help build an even stronger bond like praying, working out, etc.
- Learn each other’s love language and never stop doing the things that make each other feel loved.
- Hold each other accountable in all areas of your lives – spiritual, personal development, relationship, career, financial, and health!
- Laugh, laugh, and laugh some more.
And this should go unsaid, but it won’t hurt to share it anyway, love, trust, and honor each other unconditionally. I know it may sound “pretty on paper,” but trust me, it’s actually not that hard. Not when you’re married to the right person. And if you are single and reading this, enjoy the season of singleness. Pray for your future husband (or wife), develop yourself, travel the world, make lasting friendships, focus on your career, and decorate your apartment in the most girly (or manly) way possible! Because I’m telling you right now, once you get married, you’ll have to opt for more subtle decorations, lol! But seriously, there is so much to do during the singleness season.
Last but not least, the biggest takeaway from marriage so far is, always lean on our Almighty Father! He is merciful, promising, forgiving, and loving. Basically, everything we should be in a marriage. Through the ups and downs, no matter the season, He’ll always come through and guide the way. Well, that’s it for today! I hope you’ve taken at least one thing away from this post. And even though it took a little courage to share something so personal, I’m glad to have done it. It will be interesting to find out if my current perspective changes in the next five years.
Photos taken by: Victor Herrera
These photos were captured during our one year wedding anniversary trip in Tulum, Quintana Roo. We had so much fun during this shoot, a shoot Jose wasn’t really up for at the beginning but glad he did it! I will be sharing more details about our trip very soon.
Thank you so much for reading…have a blessed weekend!
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