Friendship is a two-way street. No, actually ALL relationships are a two-way street. It is about two people putting in the effort to stay connected and engaged with each other. In honor of National Best Friends Day, I am sharing how my best girl friend (aka soul sister) and I have remained in each other’s lives even though we live miles apart.
Meagan and I met over nine years ago in college. We were Merchandising majors in the same program at UNT so we naturally had the same interests. I still remember the day she came into class and asked if the seat next to me was taken. I am grateful it wasn’t because that was the beginning of our friendship (aka sistership).
Not even two weeks after meeting her, she invited me to hang out with her and some friends. We kicked it off and you can say the rest was history. From our crazy adventures in Austin, to studying abroad in Hong Kong and China, to bartending at the same place, to hotel dance parties, and so much more, we lived life to the fullest. After graduation, we decided to move in together. It was a short-lived chapter alongside our rescued fur babies – who also happened to be best girlfriends. We eventually moved out of our college town to take on the real world, which meant living in different cities. A few years later, we got engaged to our now husbands. Soon after her proposal, she moved to LA, a lifelong dream of hers. And in a blink of an eye, we became wives.
Living in different states didn’t really hit me like a ton of bricks. Don’t get me wrong, I was pretty devastated when I knew I wouldn’t have the luxury of driving three hours to Dallas to see her, but deep down inside, I was pretty darn proud she was pursuing her dreams. That being said, before she moved from Texas, every single opportunity I had to visit her, I would take it. If I was interviewing for different companies in her area, I’d stop by. If I was in town visiting family, we would schedule lunch dates. Birthday celebrations? I was there and vice versa. We would do our best to show up for each other no matter how hectic life was. Meetings in person were not always possible though, especially when she moved out of Texas. We worked around our schedules to have FaceTime dates. For major or minor life updates, we knew we were only a phone call (or text) away. The point I am trying to make is life is always going to be busy. Circumstances will rarely be perfect. Friendships are about knowing each other’s heart goals and pushing each other towards them. It is about knowing each other’s deepest, most brightest and darkest secrets, without holding judgement, only accountability. It is about lifting each other in prayer, celebrating each other’s happiness, and rejoicing in the simple moments of life. It is about reminding each other of the love and support waiting for them whenever they have a chance to return the phone call. It is about sending a quick text message letting them know you are thinking about them. If I had waited for the perfect time to drive to Dallas, I would still be waiting. If I had waited for every problem in my life to disappear before picking up the phone to call (or text) her, I would still be waiting. Things will always appear to be in the way but we hold the power to make things or events happen. We hold the power to steer friendships in the direction we want to take them.
As I reflect back on the years of our sistership, I believe we have remained close for various reasons. Our values, morals, and visions for life, have always been aligned. Our desire to want more than an ordinary life has always been the same. Our thirst for knowledge and acquiring new skills, keeps us going. Our faith in God’s greater plan is our daily push towards our dreams and goals. The love for our families is unreal and we would do anything prove it. I believe all of these qualities (and more) built the foundation of our friendship. I believe these are things that have helped us stay connected throughout the challenges, hardships, changes, uncomfortable situations, celebrations, and milestones.
Not too long ago, I watched a video about friendships and the significance of being a true friend. I’ll link it here. The words of wisdom from Trent Shelton resonated on every level because of past experiences with so-called friends. His video was a great reminder on what friendships should and shouldn’t be. Best friends do not have to be based on the amount of time you have known a person. As he mentioned, “Don’t confuse the length of a friendship for the strength of a friendship. Don’t let the history keep you in the misery. Just because they grew up with you, doesn’t mean they want to see you grow.” This gives me chills because I think we all know at least one person in this situation. People are afraid of letting go of toxic people because of the history. Read closely, we are in charge of our own happiness. We are responsible for creating a happy life. Trent said it best, “…sometimes the best way to add to your life is not to add to it, but to subtract from it.” I highly suggest to watch the video for the full message. It ends with Trent encouraging everyone to reevaluate the people in our circle.
Last but not least, you should be a reflection of what you seek in others. The qualities you desire in someone else should be possessed by you as well. It is simple, be the friend you wish to have. Always remember that you attract what you are.